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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Lasik Eye Surgery Clinic

Here’s a “testimonial” spot that tells a story, taps into real emotion, and is completely believable:

My only criticism: The tag at the end of the radio commercial needs a better delivery.

The advertisement’s producer, Rod Schwartz, responded:

“Based on your exposure just to the spot in question, I can’t argue with you. It was the first in a series of commercials produced over a period of several months for the client. And the blame falls more on me, as her coach, than on the talent in question.

“The tag at the end was read by the doc’s nurse, whose performance improved with time and practice.”

Rod sent me the second spot in the series, and indeed the nurse’s VO performance already was noticeably better:

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Frank Clarivu December 19, 2011, 3:40 am

    I agree with you, personal testimonials of can be an extremely effective marketing tool if used correctly.

  • Craig Burnett December 19, 2011, 6:08 am

    Still, the spots would have been considerably more powerful without her voice at the end (even her “better” version). I mean, how many people in the listening audience know it’s his nurse? Moreover, how many would even care? It puts an unprofessional cap on a spot that NEEDS to sound professional.

    After all, we’re talking about people’s EYES.

  • Tim Burt December 19, 2011, 6:25 am

    I agree with Craig 100%.

    As I always say, “I don’t take my car to Jiffy Lube and demand to change my own oil.”

  • Rod Schwartz - Grace Broadcast Sales December 19, 2011, 11:12 am

    @Craig: “I mean, how many people in the listening audience know it’s his nurse? Moreover, how many would even care?”

    The fact is, this nurse plays a significant role in the second commercial, carrying along the storyline from her perspective. You wouldn’t know this, of course, on the basis of the tag alone. I believe you’d think differently about it after hearing the entire ad. (If you like, shoot me an email and I’ll send you a copy; for whatever reason, Dan didn’t want to include it here.)

  • Craig Burnett December 19, 2011, 12:01 pm

    Rod,

    Respectfully I maintain that a young-sounding, non-professional voice has no place representing the institution of a medical practice. As someone who is considering lasik surgery, there’s no way I would check further into this practice simply because they chose to use someone who sounds younger than half my age to represent their medical practice.

    I’m sure she’s a nice person with a great perspective on what the practice does for the patients…I just wouldn’t have put her in the spots…especially spots that are so strong without her.

    My $0.02. Again, nothing personal. 🙂