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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Showing, Not Telling

In my radio advertising workshops, I stress the importance of “showing, not telling” when telling a story within a commercial.

This entire spot is pretty good.

It focuses on the consumer’s experience and names the brand only to tell interested listeners how they can obtain that experience.

But the “showing, not telling” occurs at approximate :25…

 

A lesser copywriter would have used words to explain what incident had just been avoided. Instead, we “saw” it — each of us seeing a different yet appropriate image.

My only criticism is one I wouldn’t bother to make of a less talented writer’s work:

The phrase “cutting edge” is flat and ineffectual. The copywriter was trying to convey the essence of “cutting edge,” but simply saying those words doesn’t do it.

Why am I so quick to criticize the use of “cutting edge”? Because as a copywriter, I know I would have been tempted to stick with that phrase and hope no one noticed it was weak.

But…

If that’s the price I have to pay to hear a decent radio commercial in a sea of dreck, it’s a price I’m willing to pay.

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  • scott snailham May 23, 2011, 6:11 am

    You could easily eliminate “cutting edge” as it’s read with more of a transition type delivery by the VO actor to flow with the rest of the copy. He really throws it away, which really is the way to do it. Maybe the client wanted it there, who knows, but if it has to be in there, it’s handled correctly.

    From a sound design point of view, as the SFX are very prominent, I’m hoping someone sent out someone to mic a BMW that is featured in the spot instead of using stock FX? I wonder if they used stock FX, could that be considered false advertising?

  • Anonymous May 23, 2011, 7:04 am

    I hope you were joking Scott.

    If a fake sound effect is false advertising then Stan Freberg would have been responsible for shutting down the entire industry after turning Lake Michigan into a giant chocolate pudding in the 1960s. There is no federal bureau of policing advertisements. The EPA, USDA, FDA, and several other departments oversee various aspects of product claim. The Consumer Protection Agency is ignored by virtually all the media and is too busy trying to keep itself from being eliminated by Congress. But how about the FCC, you might ask. Don’t they enforce anything? They claim they do but when was the last time anyone remembers when the FCC actually acted on something? 20 years ago? 50 years ago? Longer? Anyone? Does anyone even remember when broadcasters and advertisers took the FCC seriously and were actually worried about reprisals from them? The only thing the FCC seems to do now is lobby for advertisers… and media conglomerates.

    I’m always amazed at the idea that people think the government is going to protect them against ‘false advertising’ while at the same time voting for tax cuts that eliminate funding for the very agencies that they think are the watchdogs for these functions. But it doesn’t matter anyhow since the US Supreme Court thinks it is Un-American to sue corporations over issues like false advertising and product liability.

  • scott snailham May 23, 2011, 12:56 pm

    Sorta semi serious, but it would be prudent now to actually take the advertised car out in a preferred isolated area and do a proper sound effects miking now wouldn’t it? Especially for a major campaign that seems to this seems to be. It would be maybe a matter of prestige and ego I suppose. No one is going to question walking into the dealership about the sound of the car that they heard on the radio, but wouldn’t it be cool if it actually sounds like you heard in the commerical? to be technically accurate?

    Technology today makes it easy for even a radio station production director to do some sort of custom sound design recording to use on a spot. Stock libraries can be a bit of a crutch and not give what you want, so you go out and record it yourself. I’ve done it more then once for my own productions, or foley it myself.

    In the lawsuit happy world that is the US has no policies on such? amazing. Usually I would expect something. I suppose it’s a matter of letting the buyer beware.

    I don’t expect the government to protect me, but thanks for the update on what is done in the US. I’m in canada, so really, I have no idea what kind of restrictions actually take place.

  • Radio Nick July 18, 2011, 7:11 am

    I like the ad too, but there is one other minor flaw. In today’s high-tech automotive world where nearly every car or truck features traction control and anti-lock brakes, you don’t typically hear the sound of squawking tires in an accident avoidance situation anymore. Despite that fact, the brains of most drivers are able to make that connection.

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