LEAP OF FAITH RADIO PRODUCTION with Bobby Ocean
Q: “WHAT IS a REAL jock?”
A: “It takes one to know one.” — actual dialog from days of yore
(You can always tell if dialog’s authentic by the quotation marks.)
Translation: You can’t ‘get it’ — what a real jock is — from any other instruction than actually being one. When radio folk say, “It Takes One To Know One,” their semantics may vary to include the unasked question assumed, “so — how good are you?” It’s another way we subtly play the old “One-Up” Game, when we’re not Name Dropping.
Let’s play. I’ll go first to give you the template. (Then you go, and I’ll steal it from you.)
I say: “It takes one to know one, and I think…Real jocks are the ones who play the song all the way through.”
OK, now it’s your turn. You ask me, “What’s a real jock?” And I’ll come back with something like, “As you know; takes one to know one, so I can say… Real jocks are women.”
And on we play through the night…
Real jocks are men.
Real jocks are of all genders and generally curious.
Real jocks are confident enough they can hit the post every time, that they don’t.
Real jocks are no strangers to having things stolen from them, but invariably they’re
the kind of people who would probably have given it away, anyway.
Real jocks are an asset.
Real jocks are an investment.
Real jocks are the “Show” part of show business.
Real jocks are the part of Show Business that SHOWS.
Real jocks are able to find the sizzle in road kill.
Real jocks are professional enough not to kill those referring to them as “content.”
Real jocks are worth something to a radio station once when counted as a “cutback,” but
are valuable in many ways every day as a member of the team.
Real jocks are like a programmer’s Swiss army knife to intelligent management.
Real jock would always make money before cutting back to save it.
Real jocks are confusing to management that doesn’t understand.
Real jocks are capable of making shareholders very happy.
Real jocks are not afraid of Light Rock.
Real jocks invented many, if not every, tease you have seen on any TV football game.
Real jocks are used to having their listeners get it when their boss doesn’t.
Real jocks aren’t considered real by fellow jocks until they have been fired at least once.
Real jocks are artists.
Real jocks are almost universally against dead air.
Real jocks are not stupid, for the most part; usually the reverse.
Real jocks are flexible.
Real jocks are capable of faking sincerity.
Real jocks usually have great excuses.
Real jocks often appear preoccupied.
Real jocks have “headphone hair,” and their own workarounds for it.
Real jocks are like police officers in only one respect — love of pastries.
Real jocks are able to hold a fistful of paper near a live mic very quietly.
Real jocks are unaware overall that their boss has an ego at least ten times their own.
Real jocks are not afraid to “borrow” courage on the wager of fame.
Real jocks are prepared.
Real jocks are crazy, as when one tries to define another in love. Real jocks have found something that means more to them than anything they had experienced previously. So, they’re willing to let go of nearly all their past for it. But, like so many religious experiences, only at first.