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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: We Won’t Tell You What We’re Selling, But Some Restrictions Apply

First, the commercial:

What a mess.

They spend the first 15 seconds saying…nothing. Unless, that is, you haven’t noticed that over the years lots of things have become more expensive.

Maybe they assume we haven’t noticed that, because they treat us though we are very stupid. How could we possibly understand what she means by “a nice cup of coffee” if those words hadn’t been followed by the sound of liquid being poured?

And buying a few gallons of gas? What does she — oh, I recognize that sound! It’s a gas pump. So when she says “guying a few gallons of gas,” she means gas for a car, at a gas station.

“At Public Storage, a dollar still goes a long way.”

No, it doesn’t. It gets you one free promotional month if you sign a long-term contract, with so many restrictions they can’t fit them into this commercial.

And Now It Gets Even Dumber.

“Just one dollar pays for your first month’s rent. So pick up the phone and call…”

Uh, guys? My first month’s rent of…What? A locker? A shed? A container? Before you try to get people to buy something, it’s almost always a good idea to make sure they know what you’re selling.

“At Public Storage, we have a variety of storage spaces and locations to choose from.”

Okay, this whole thing is a practical joke, right? One of my loyal readers actually bought an advertising campaign so patently bad, just to see if I’d realize it’s a gag. The only thing they omitted was the “friendly, knowledgeable staff.”

Here Comes The Clue Train.

The story here isn’t about what a dollar can buy. It’s about all that stuff that’s cluttering up your garage — and how Public Storage can help.

At least, that’s what the story should be about.

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  • Don May April 20, 2009, 1:27 am

    I remember reading that a dollar was once a full day’s wages in the gold mines of the old west…so what’s your point, lady!? 😉

    I never did get those commercials that tried to imply that things were cheaper “back then”…hasn’t anyone heard of prices “adjusted for inflation”?

  • Steve April 20, 2009, 5:11 am

    At first i thought it was a new McDonalds spot for the dollar menu. The talent and music combo is almost perky.

    If I were a storage place I’d be hiring Niecie from that HGTV show to do the campaigns.

    Opening Line: If you can’t see your floor, See Us.

  • Dan O'Day April 20, 2009, 4:57 pm

    @ Steve: People would assume it’s a weight-loss program.

  • Dan O'Day April 20, 2009, 4:57 pm

    @ Steve: People would assume it’s a weight-loss program.

  • Dan O'Day April 20, 2009, 4:57 pm

    @ Steve: People would assume it’s a weight-loss program.

  • Steve April 21, 2009, 5:37 am

    Um.. Fat people can still see their floors. Only redneck jerks who belittle people would think that way. Pack ratting is a rage now. Oprah, HGTV. Niecie is the recognized leader in cleaning out people’s clutter.

  • Anonymous April 21, 2009, 6:38 am

    “Remember when a dollar bought you a nice cup of coffee?”

    Yeah. And I thought THAT was too expensive. I mean, it’s just HOT BEAN WATER for cryin’ out loud!

  • Don May April 22, 2009, 5:57 pm

    Dan; If Steve’s tag-line was; “If you can’t see your willy, see us”, then THAT could be construed as a weight-loss commercial, see?

    It’s all in the subtly of words 😉

  • Radio Commercials April 30, 2009, 2:30 pm

    Very unfocused script. Nothing wrong with an attract message up front but it went on, and on, and on…