SO YOU WANNA WRITE TV COMEDY

by Dan O'Day on June 18, 2013

This posting isn’t about radio.

But a lot of radio people think they’re funny.

Some of them actually are.

Each year Ken Levine (M*A*S*H, CHEERS, FRASIER, etc.) and I conduct an event for talented, creative people who want to experience what it’s really like to be part of a TV sitcom writing “room.”

The event is called The Sitcom Room.

We’ve just announced the dates, October 26 – 27, but we haven’t yet opened registration (which is limited to just 20 people).

The event always sells out.

If you’d like to be informed the day before we open registration — and thereby get a head start on the rest of the world — make sure you’re on our Sitcom Room Alert List, which you’ll find at the bottom of this page.

It’s a very cool event. Over the years, we’ve even had several radio people attend (including one very funny guy from Austria).

You’ll find all the information here.

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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Instaflex

by Dan O'Day on June 17, 2013

direct response radio advertising expertThe radio commercial:

Traditionally, the percentage of well-written direct response radio advertising has been higher than the percentage of well-written retail or brand advertising.

The level of direct response radio copywriting has sunk so low and so rapidly that it’s almost certainly caused either by the all-pervasive “Let’s just write it ourselves and save money” attitude or the “Why pay what a good copywriter charges when we can get bad copywriting much cheaper?” syndrome.

This spot isn’t just “weak” or “lame.” It’s staggeringly incompetent.

The opening line does its best to drive away listeners:

“One little joint supplement.”

Huh? Whazzat?

Then:

“You know this powerful little pill is great for your joints.”

What powerful little pill? What are you talking about?

The next sentence needs an adjective to place in front of “benefits.”

Hmm, what’s a good adjective? I know! Let’s use the adjective we just used to describe the pill! “Powerful” — that’s a great word! We’re geniuses!

I’d continue to critique this radio advertisement to its conclusion, but I don’t have enough Excedrin handy.

But I’ll point out one last Staggeringly Stupid Strategy:

The goal of this commercial is get people to call for a free 2-week “trial sample” — which no doubt includes shipping & handling and also enrolls the consumer in a “forced continuity program” — to get the “free” two weeks, they have to agree to continue to pay to receive the product forever…or until they cancel.

I’m not criticizing that marketing model. Just keep in mind that the goal of the spot is to get people to call to enter the forced continuity program.

They brag that Instaflex is the “#1 selling joint supplement at GNC.” But hey, forget we just said that, ’cause you can’t get this “free 2-week sample” at GNC.

So why do they mention GNC at all? Uh…Well, y’see, it’s GNC’s #1 selling joint supplement.

Even though you shouldn’t go there for this free offer.

Excuse me, I’ve got to find some cold Diet Coke to wash down my last four  Excedrin tablets.

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TWO MINUTES OF FUNNY RADIO IMAGING

by Dan O'Day on June 14, 2013

Here are three entertaining radio imaging spots by three brilliant radio producers: Howard Hoffman, Terry Phillips and Jamie Watson.

It’s difficult to imagine your not getting at least one idea for a spot of your own from one of those three guys.

Download the entire 90-minute radio imaging presentation here.

 

 

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In a recent posting I declared, “Never give a client the authority to ‘approve’ the copy — that is, the actual script.”

I went on to explain why it’s a bad idea and, in fact, unfair to the client. And I ended by promising in a subsequent posting, I’d answer the question:

“How do you get a client to approve a commercial without giving them script approval?”

Especially with a new client, it’s important for you to establish that you’re the expert.

If you begin your relationship with the understanding that the client is buying not just “commercials” but instead your station’s expertise in motivating its listeners to act on the client’s sales message, the relationship is likely to be more enjoyable and profitable for both of you.

(One way you begin this process is to define them as “sales messages,” not as “commercials.”)

Naturally, you don’t simply take the client’s newspaper ad and agree to turn into a radio commercial. Instead, you ask lots & lots of questions about:

  • The client’s specific goals
  • The client’s customers
  • The client’s real “story”

The real story is not that they’re the oldest shoe store in town.

But it might be that they have put shoes on the feet of more people in your town than any other shoe store, starting back in The Great Depression when Great-Great-Grandpa opened his little cobbler shop and extended credit to anyone who would look him in the eye and promise to pay when he could.

You define the client’s Unique Selling Proposition: “Why should I give my money to you, rather to your competitor?” (The answer, of course, must be from the customer’s point-of-view, not the client’s.)

And before you leave the client with your promise to create a whiz-bang advertising campaign, you establish the client’s Conditions of Satisfaction:

What absolutely must be included in the commercials — uh, in the sales messages?

  • Low price guarantee
  • Three locations
  • Putting shoes on the feet of Smallville residents for five generations
  • 50% off selected Bally stock

Write it all down, in plain sight of the client.

When the client is finished, you say:

“And what else?”

The client might add one or two items.

“And what else?”

The client probably has run out of “what else.”

Now you look at that list and chop away at anything that you don’t believe is essential.

For example, the client probably wanted his phone number mentioned. Three times.

If you’ve educated him properly, you’ve already explained why a shoe retailer shouldn’t waste valuable commercial time touting its phone number.

If so, you remind him now. If you forgot to educate him on that point, do so now.

Three Verbal Strategies for Chopping Away Excess Copy Points

1.  “If you had to choose between (Point A) and (Point B), which would you say is more important?” (Client replies, you nod your head.) “I agree. So let’s just cross off (Point B).”

2.  “Mary, as you know, every second counts in a radio commercial. Yours is going to be voiced by one of the top talents in the business. The last thing you want is for him to rush through the copy, trying to squeeze in too much information.”

(Looking at notes, pointing to a non-essential item) “I think this is the part we should omit. Agreed?”

3.  “Mary, we really don’t need to talk about how friendly your staff is. Instead, let’s focus all of our attention on the fact that if you buy shoes anywhere else, you’re spending more than you should. Make sense?”

After you’ve done your best to limit the key points that must be mentioned in the spot, you hand the client a copy of the Conditions of Satisfaction:

“Mary, I want you to hold onto this. You’ll want to refer to it when I bring you your recorded commercials. Especially because this is the first time you’ve advertised with us, I know you’ll be excited to hear the new campaign. But I’ll need you to listen carefully to make sure everything we’ve listed here is included in the finished commercials. So please put this somewhere safe.”

When you return with the finished spots, don’t even bother to ask Mary if she still has her copy of the Conditions of Satisfaction.

Instead, hand her your own duplicate copy:

“I’ve hardly been able to wait to play these for you. I’m really pleased with the way they turned out. Here’s a copy of that list we made of key points that absolutely had to be included. Please do me a favor and check them off when you hear them….”

Now you have reframed the question from “Do you like these commercials?” to “Did we cover everything we were supposed to?”

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ETHICAL DILEMMA WITH RADIO RATINGS DIARY

by Dan O'Day on June 11, 2013

A Loyal Reader Writes:

“My father-in-law got an Arbitron diary last week and I made him throw it out. And now I am feeling like a jackass…

“I think I did the right thing but their whole family does actually listen to my show so it wouldn’t be embellished much if at all. I just didn’t want the stink of cheating a book on me. Did I do the right thing?”

Technically, there was no “right thing” for you to do. The ethical burden was on your father-in-law, who had to decide whether to be truthful when answering Arbitron’s questions that could disqualify him as a diary-keeper.

In my opinion, you would’ve been doing the wrong thing if you had asked or encouraged him to lie.

Although you won’t have to look far to find some radio people who will ridicule your choice, when you’re faced with an ethical dilemma erring on the side of honesty is a pretty good policy.

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