Opening paragraph of an article in a national business magazine….

“What does it take to be a marketing expert? If expertise is all about familiarity, then just about everybody in America qualifies.”

Um, I hate to break it to that magazine, but expertise “is all about” understanding, not familiarity.

The bane of radio advertising, in particular, is that everyone is “familiar” with it.

Radio commercials are just words, mostly.

And because everyone can speak, everyone assumes they can create a radio commercial.

So they do.

The truth is that anyone can create a bad radio commercial.

So they do.

Radio won’t begin to garner a larger percentage of the overall advertising dollar until it earns it — by giving up the indefensible practice of allowing its commercials to be written by anyone, no matter how unqualified.

That includes clients who don’t have a clue but are encouraged to write their own spots….

Salespeople who have been taught how to sell advertising but have absolutely no advertising education or expertise….

And production people who love playing with the cool toys but have never read even one book or taken a single course in advertising.

But I don’t blame those clients, account executives, and production geeks.

I blame those radio owners and managers who don’t care enough about their clients’ welfare to set higher standards.

Why is there so much bad radio advertising?

Because our industry allows it.

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I’ve always been amazed — and dismayed — by the disdain with which so many radio stations treat their listeners…Their fans.

Your most loyal fans? The ones who show up for your most pathetic remotes, in the rain? Losers.

The ones who enter and win so many of your contests? Naturally, they’re “prize pigs.”

(Don’t bother explaining to me that they’re not really fans, that they “listen to all the radio stations to win the contests.” When they’re listening to your station, even if it’s only to try to win something, they’re your listeners.)

Hey, we’re busy. Overworked. Understaffed.

We have too many other things to do that are much more important than treating our listeners well.

We’re much too important to make our fans feel special…or, at least, appreciated.

I know a guy whom I’ll call “Roger.”

Roger is a member of the Paul McCartney Fan Club — a genuine fan club that is operated by fans, with McCartney’s approval.

A few years ago, McCartney was appearing in concert in Roger’s hometown.

Roger received a phone call from the McCartney fan club:

“Every now and then Paul likes to invite a few fans to meet with him. We’ve selected five fan club members at random, and you’re one of the five. If you’d like to come, you can bring one guest and you can bring whatever items you’d like Paul to autograph for you.”

Roger showed up, with a guest and various album covers for Paul’s autograph. Paul sat and chatted with the group of ten people for about 30 minutes.

Those ten people never will forget it. And it’s pretty likely that they’ve told some (okay, every one) of their friends about their experience.

Observation: If Paul McCartney can figure out a way to stay close to his fans, perhaps that’s not an impossibility for us radio folks, too.

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And I’ll be hosting a free webinar that will show you how to create your own iPhone apps — even if you can’t write a lick of programming code (I can’t) and have no interest in doing any of the “technical” stuff (I don’t).

I don’t have the exact date yet, but the webinar will be very soon.

To receive an invitation to the webinar, you’ve got to be on the “Dan Saves Radio (People”) list.

Radio people, voice over people — this is like a dream come true. You create your own “content” (an app) according to your personal vision, and you share it electronically with people around the world.

(And if you want, you even make money from it.)

If you’ve joined the list, I’ll let you know just as soon as I’ve scheduled the webinar.

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Heard on a major Los Angeles radio station.

But I don’t believe the station created the commercial, because when the spot gives a URL I can hear it was edited in — which tells me the advertiser probably is split-testing either this commercial against another…

…or (and this is my guess) this radio station against another radio station. (Each station would air an advertisement featuring a different URL, for trackability.)

It’s a commercial for Taiwan as a vacation destination.

One of the elements it promotes is its “pristine beaches.”

Okay, let’s assume a “pristine beach” would appeal to you.

How would you use that beach?

Would you lie on it? Luxuriate on it? Stroll along it? Build sandcastles? Jog?

How would you use that beach?

I’m pretty sure your answer isn’t, “I’d witness it.”

To quote Truman Capote, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

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